Think of when you last said yes to some food you REALLY wanted? A dessert after dinner with you boyfriend, a homemade slice of cake offered to you by your mom, the cookie that just looked at you when you ordered your coffee with a friend?
Did you enjoy every bite of it? Did you carry on your day without an ounce of regret or did you suddenly question why you did that as soon as you finished? “Why did I eat that?” “I didn’t need that!” “I’ve eaten too much now”.
“Wow, that was so delicious!” VS “Why did I eat that? I’m so bad!”
Ok so most of us know overdoing the sweets and cakes isn’t the healthiest of decisions for a number of reasons BUT there is no reason you can’t indulge now and then as part of a balanced diet.
I promise you now, eating carrot sticks doesn’t make you “good“ and eating a slice of cake doesn’t make you “bad”.
What happens when you feel guilty after eating something you decided isn’t healthy or “good”. You feel bad about yourself. Self-compassion goes out the window as we are caught up in a stream of negative emotions. Internal thoughts can turn nasty; we start harshly critiquing ourselves and make promises to do better. Guilt has some serious potential to paralyze us.
If you are able to catch those thoughts, to realise you’re going down that path; the most important thing to do is switch your mind set back to a positive one – I know, easier said than done….
The homemade scones (fresh out the oven) that inspired this blog. I enjoyed every bite but once I was finished I felt some old feeling of guilt creep up on me.
I quickly phoned a friend, talked it out and in 10 minutes I felt calm again. I went on to cook my dinner and have a few biscuits in the evening. I don’t look back on this photo with guilt but as a way to remember a beautiful sunny mid day treat shared with family.
A few tips from me to you
1. The Hunger Scale. I talked earlier in the month about listening to your bodies internal hunger cues. (Have a read if you’ve not already and then come back!)
Ok so, did you eat because you were *hungry? Were you peckish and had a really nice snack that has now satisfied you and tied you over until dinner? *An extra note on this… you can most certainly eat even when you’re not that hungry!
If you do find yourself eating when you’re not hungry very often, maybe stop and ask yourself what else is going on? Were you bored? Stressed out or over tired? Were you feeling angry or low? Emotions can play a big role.
2. Phone a friend. If you’re lucky enough to have someone to listen to you then get them on the phone. Quite often just saying aloud the thoughts whirling around are enough for you to realise how silly they really are. The added comforting words of a compassionate friend can really help! (If you don’t have someone or don’t feel ready to confide in family please feel free to DM me! I’m more than happy to be that ear and out your worries.)
3. Write down your thoughts. In a similar way to the above, I love the freedom journaling gives me. I have complete, unconditional permission to write anything that comes to mind.
I don’t care about spelling, I don’t even really care about what I’m saying, it’s just a time where I can write down anything bothering me, feelings building up inside. Most of the time, once I’ve scribbled my feelings I feel calmer. Sometimes that’s enough to help me refocus and realise hey, maybe I over reacted there! Maybe I need to treat myself a little bit more kindly here, show myself some self-compassion.
4. Focus on the positive! Food is great and all food has a benefit to your body but sometimes a slice of cake isn’t just a good slice of cake. Sometimes its cake you were given at your best friends birthday party, something your mom made for the whole family to enjoy together. Sometimes the food combined with the environment you eat it impacts your mental health in such a positive way.
………..
If you’re anything like me, you love food too much to deny yourself of anything. When you can make peace with your choices, even when they weren’t part of the food plan is something everyone should strive for.
When guilty feelings arise, try to remind yourself that you’ve not done anything wring. Those feelings are valid and sadly often automatic for many of us but it’s how we turn them around before letting them snowball that’s key.
